Being Woven

Thank You, U.S. Veterans

American Flag Eagle Wallpaper (10)

I honor you, the Veterans of these United States of America.

I am a proud widow and a daughter of military veterans.

This day makes me stand proud although sad.

It makes me sad for all those who have lost their lives due to war.

I honor those veterans who return with physical, mental, emotional wounds.  I am so very sorry.  I pray for you and your families.  I honor the families who serve alongside of their husband, wife, son, daughter, mother, father, grandchildren for they are serving this country as well.  Thank you to each and every one of you.

1000w_q95

th (1)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IMG_1855 redone (2)

My husband, Kenneth, was an United States Army combat veteran, 101st Airborne Division/Co. B 3/506; served in Vietnam, 1968-69 serving from 1967-1970.  Kenneth died this past June 7th of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, a recognized type of cancer caused by Agent Orange.  Yes, Kenneth served on the ground fighting in the Central Highlands of Vietnam.  Agent Orange was definitely present there.

Yes, this next photo is my Kenneth in 1967 when he was going through the U.S. Army Airborne School (or Jump School {as he called it}) as part of the 101st Airborne training in Fort Benning, GA.   (P.S. I wish I had known him then!! : ) )

Kenneth jump school

Kenneth, you were a soldier once…and young, along with so many others in so many wars.  I look at this photo of you and see such a very young man…a boy!  Boys, now girls too, tend to fight the wars, don’t they?

“The Class of 1965 came out of the old America, a nation which disappeared forever in the smoke that billowed off the jungle battlegrounds where we fought and bled. The country which sent us off to war was not there to welcome us home. It no longer existed.” *

In the Prologue of We Were Soldiers Once…and Young, the authors were speaking of the Vietnam War.  That is the war my Kenneth fought in.  He came home with what we now call PTSD, but there was no label back then.  They just came home and did the best they could.  Kenneth made it.  I am sorry he fought in that war.  I am sorry we as a nation fought in that war.  I am sorry so many died in that war.  I am just sorry about all wars.  I do not like arguments let alone wars.

History_repeating_vietnam

I am sorry that we did not welcome you home as all service men and women deserve.  So I say to you and to all Veterans, Welcome home.

Kenneth in Vietnam

Kenneth, I have always been so proud of you.  I respected you and loved you with my whole being.  Although I did not know you back then, I am so glad and grateful I was blessed to call you my husband for twenty-five years.  Thank you for marrying me and loving me as you did.  You were the best husband and friend to me.  Thank you, Love.  I am so sorry that Lymphoma took over your body though (for my loss).  You are with Jesus now and that is the best news of all!  Praise Him.  Praise the Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Scan 7

My father was a Navy doctor, a “lifer.”  He loved his Navy.  He served in WWII in the Pacific and then went on to be a part of the post-war Manhattan Project (Bikini, Eniwetok Islands) where radiation exposure took his life by Pancreatic Cancer.  He practiced medicine in the Navy for 20 years until he died at age 46.

My Daddy died when I was 12.  Thank you, Mama, for loving us through such a difficult season of life, of death, for all of us.

My parents are buried in Arlington National Cemetery.

 

My family is honored.  We miss them.

Daddy, I miss you so much.  It has been 58 years since you died, yet it could have been yesterday.  I sometimes feel like I am still 12, having that giant Daddy-hole in my heart.  I love you so and wonder at all I missed by God taking you home so early in our lives.  I am glad we had Mama for almost 99 years.  She had a hard row ahead of her with three girls-me just on the verge of becoming a teenager.  But we made it.  We all turned out well.  Daddy, thank you for loving us so.  Thank you for your dedication to the Navy and being a doctor.  You were loved by so many and missed by so many.  I pray I will see you again one day on the other side.  I love you, Your oldest daughter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Freedom is not FREE…never will be either!

Freedom comes with a huge price…one worthy of a fight…but where do we as the United States of America draw the line.  As we celebrate the 100th anniversary of the ending of WWI, while pondering WWII, especially this weekend as our nation celebrates Veterans Day, how many wars does it take to be free? How many lives?

Where have all the soldiers gone
Gone to graveyards, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn

Oh, when will they ever learn? **

When will WE ever learn?

Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.  1 Peter 2:16 ESV

For He Himself is our peace, Who has made us both one and has broken down in His flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that He might create in Himself one new man in place of the two, so making

peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. And He came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through Him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the Cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord.  Ephesians 2:14-21

Jesus paid the ultimate price for our/my freedom.  You offered Your Son as the Sacrifice to redeem Your children to You.  I am and will be grateful forever, Abba Father.  May I live as You have called me to live, Father God.  Thank You for these men and women who have served and are currently serving this country.  I pray that we do not forget them but honor them in this life for the honor with which most have served. I lift up those today who came back from war with scars on or in their bodies, minds, and souls. Protect and heal them, Father. I pray for the families of those fallen soldiers, the families of those who are currently serving in Iraq, Afghanistan, in other areas of this world where they are in harm’s way.  I pray for the families of those who have returned from war injured in one way or another.  Oh God, be with them each and all.  I lift up our Coast Guard who are risking their lives to interdict the drugs and the cartels who are making these runs.  I lift the military who have been called to our Southern border alongside the Border Patrol.  I pray You give them and the government wisdom and compassion regarding those many who are seeking asylum to a country they hope is a better place to live.  Oh, Father, there are so many concerns.  I pray on my knees before You. Thank You for hearing my cries.  May we each turn to You and know that You are God and Father of all.  Amen.

 

beblacksig

American Flag:  http://wallpapernpictures.blogspot.com/2012/07/american-flag.html

Fall in Arlington National Cemetery/Veterans Day:  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/capital-weather-gang/wp/2013/11/11/veterans-day-weekend-fall-color-at-arlington-national-cemetery-photos/?utm_term=.ca70a6b848a1

Private photos from my own collection of Kenneth, Daddy, gravesite at ANC

History Repeating Vietnam/Vietnam Memorial Wall, Washington, D.C.:  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Vietnam_Veterans_Memorial

* Quote: from “We Were Soldiers Once…and Young” by Hal Moore and Joe Galloway

**  from “Where Have All the Flowers Gone” by Pete Seeger, 1955

Another Flag at Half-Staff

 

IMG_0198 (2)

Another shooting last night…two songs and a prayer swelled up in me.  I need not say anymore…

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, and how many times must the cannonballs fly
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind

Yes, how many years can a mountain exist
Before it is washed to the sea?
Yes, and how many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
Yes, and how many times can a man turn his head
And pretend that he just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind

The answer is blowing in the wind.

Yes, how many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, and how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, and how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind

“Blowin’ in the Wind” by Bob Dylan, 1962

lilies-of-the-valley-2454866_960_720

Where have all the flowers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone
Young girls pick them, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn

Where have all the young girls gone
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone
Gone for husbands, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn

Oh, when will they ever learn

Where have all the husbands gone
Long time passing
Where have all the husbands gone
Long time ago
Where have all the husbands gone
Gone for soldiers, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn

Where have all the soldiers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone
Gone to graveyards, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn

Oh, when will they ever learn

Where have all the graveyards gone
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone
Gone to flowers, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn

Where have all the flowers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone
Young girls have picked them, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn
Oh, when will they ever learn

“Where Have All the Flowers Gone” by Pete Seeger, 1955

 

Oh, LORD, forgive us our sins.  Heal this land, this nation, this world, O God.  We have fallen so very far away from You, Father.  Forgive us. When will we ever learn? 

I seek Your face and know You care about us.  I know You love us.  But have You given up on us?  I think not.  You called Your children over and over again as they wandered in the wilderness and were held in captivity.  You are calling to us to turn from our wicked ways and come to You.  I pray for us as a world, as a nation, as individuals.  May we get on our knees before You, before the Cross of Christ and repent of our ways that we may return to You.  I pray this with a heavy heart for my own loss, but the loss of the nation and the world seems extremely heavy to bear.  Christ, please take these burdens from me for I cannot carry them.  I pray in Your Holy Name.  Amen.  

 

beblacksig

God is…

 

The_God__s_Majesty_by_TheManWithNoFace676

Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is Thine; Thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and Thou art exalted as head above all. 1 Chronicles 29:11

I write about God these days because pitying myself does me no good.  I do not want to feel sorry for myself, yet I do feel sad, deeply sorrowful.  I miss Kenneth so very much.  I also know that God is in control, having numbered Kenneth’s days and those days reached their end.  My days are not up yet so I must and will continue to place one foot in front of the other, trusting in the living God.  He stands by me.  He walks with me through this grief.  He holds me closely as I do my best to live this life as fully as possible, to His glory.

Oh, Lord, thank You for being right here with me, walking me through…not over or around or under…but through this hard season in my life.  Yes, I would love to go Home and be with You.  Yes, I would love to be with Kenneth.  Yes, I would love to leave this hard and horrifying world.  But You are with me and will be until my time is up here on earth.  Thank You, Lord.  Thank You.

This verse in 1 Chronicles 29 is so powerful and so filled with God…Who He is…all that is His…and what I am to be doing.

גְּדוּלָה

gĕduwlah

greatness; (concretely) mighty acts:—dignity, great things(-ness), majesty

גְּבוּרָה

gĕbuwrah

 valor, victory:—force, mastery, might, mighty (act, power), power, strength

תִּפְאָרָה

tiph’arah

beauty(-iful), bravery, comely, fair, glory(-ious), honour, majesty

נֶצַח

netsach

eminence, perpetuity, strength, victory, enduring, everlastingness

הוֹד

howd

beauty, comeliness, excellency, glorious, glory, goodly, honour, majesty

from Matthew Henry’s Commentary:

“His infinite perfections; not only that He is great, powerful, glorious, etc., but that His is the greatness, power, and glory, that is, He has them in and of Himself. He is the fountain and centre of every thing that is bright and blessed. All that we can, in our most exalted praises, attribute to Him He has an unquestionable title to. His is the greatness; His greatness is immense and incomprehensible; and all others are little, are nothing, in comparison of Him. His is the power, and it is almighty and irresistible; power belongs to Him, and all the power of all the creatures is derived from Him and depends upon Him. His is the glory; for His glory is His own end and the end of the whole creation. All the glory we can give Him with our hearts, lips, and lives, comes infinitely short of what is His due. His is the victory; He transcends and surpasses all, and is able to conquer and subdue all things to Himself; and His victories are incontestable and uncontrollable. And His is the majesty, real and personal; with Him is terrible majesty, inexpressible and inconceivable.”

He is…

His are…

The God of the universe is all and all are His.

He is Omniscient, Omnipresent, and Omnipotent.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.  Matthew 6:13

δύναμις

dynamis

 “inherent power, power residing in a thing by virtue of its nature, or which a person or thing exerts and puts forth”

δόξα

doxa
dignity, glory(-ious), honour, praise, worship

The prayer we were taught by our Lord contains the power and the glory.  We are reminded of Who He is and all that is His.  The Name above ALL names.  He is my God and the One Whom all of myself belongs to and runs to.

Oh, Lord, I pray that this is the way I react to You, the Mighty One to Save.  It is not that I am to only obey and react to Your Greatness, but I desire to see You as the One and Only.  I should not see a victory apart from seeing You as Victorious in all that You are and do.  I should not see the state of being glorified apart from You as Glory…as Splendid.   You are Power.  You are Great.  You are Majestic.  You are Glory and Victory.  Father, You are the Maker of heaven and earth.  All creation bows before You.

“You alone are the LORD.
You have made the heavens,
The heaven of heavens with all their host,
The earth and all that is on it,
The seas and all that is in them.
You give life to all of them
And the heavenly host bows down before You.”  Nehemiah 9:6

For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For His invisible attributes, namely, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.  Romans 1:19-20a

I want to exalt Him, to lift Him up, to supremely elevate by praise.
(I was curious about exult and the difference between these two words.  I had forgotten. Exult means to be extremely joyful, to rejoice.    Psalm 28:7 – The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him.)

I am praising God, raising my voice to glorify God as He keeps me.  I am weathering each storm because He is with me, protecting me from the harshness of the cold winds of grief.  He guards my heart with His legions of angels.  He teaches me to listen for His still, small voice.  He also guides me on the path He has for my life.  And I give Him all of my praise.  His Name is above all names.

Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.  Philippians 2:8-11

1-chr-29-11-ww-stock-9x

Both riches and honor come of Thee, and Thou reignest over all; and in Thine hand is power and might; and in Thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all.  Now therefore, our God, we thank Thee, and praise Thy glorious name.  1 Chronicles 29:12-13

Father God, I honor You with all I am and all I have.  I pray for Your help in all things.  I pray I remember Who You are and Whose I am.  I am so grateful to be in Your hands.    Thank You, Lord God Almighty.   I exalt You, O God with exultation.  What a Mighty God I serve.  In the Powerful Name of Jesus, the Name above all names, I pray.  Amen.

 

beblacksig

 

 

Photo of bright sky: https://www.kentwarrenmcdonald.com/2017/06/never-blame-god/

1 Chronicles 29:11 Graphic:  http://www.alittleperspective.com/1-chronicles-28-and-29/  —  “All scripture pictures copyright a little perspective. Please feel free to use or share any that you like (free use policy). The scripture pictures may not be sold, and our “alittleperspective.com” watermark may not be removed. I use my own photos, or other creative commons or public domain photos for source photos, but I have not been able to find sources for every photo. I do not wish to violate anyone’s copyright; please send me a note at alittleperspective [at] gmail [dot] com if you are the copyright holder of a source photo and desire its removal. I am eager to do so. Thank you.” by Christine Miller @ “A Little Perspective”

God’s Ways…not My Ways

Isaiah-55-8-My-Ways-Are-Not-Your-Ways-green

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways My ways, declares the LORD.  

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8-9

Oh, that I would understand and know God’s Ways for my life.

דֶּרֶךְ

derek

 way, journey, habit, manner: a road (as trodden); figuratively, a course of life or mode of action, of moral character; used of men, a course of acting, approved by God; used of God, His course of acting

Reading the Bible, pondering verses, praying, listening for the voice of God, listening to His voice, may I come to know His ways as best as I am humanly able.  By following the path God sets before me, the fruit, which will come, is so wonderful.  As Isaiah 55 continues, I can see that where rain falls, the earth is watered.  Where I walk, lifting the glory of God in my manner, portraying the image of Christ, may I touch others, provide food for thought, give insight about Christ for salvation.  I never may know, but I want to walk in His ways so that God is glorified.

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, 

so shall My word be that goes out from My mouth;
it shall not return to Me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11

His Word has purpose.  His image and manner has purpose.  God takes our obedience  and walks with us into lives for His purposes, knowing just how I touch others as I walk in the way of the Lord.

“For you shall go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you
shall break forth into singing,
and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;
instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the LORD,
an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”  Isaiah 55:12-13

The benefits of following the way of the Lord are enormous, filled with blessings.

Other verses remind me that the power of being a way seeker can do far more than I can in my own strength.

For I will proclaim the name of the LORD;
ascribe greatness to our God!  “The Rock, His work is perfect,
for all His ways are justice.
A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is He…..”  Deuteronomy 32:3-4

The LORD is righteous in all His ways
and kind in all His works.  Psalm 145:17

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways Romans 11:33

Righteous

Kind

Inscrutable

Higher

Just

Upright

Unsearchable

True

And they sing the song of Moses, the servant of God, and the song of the Lamb, saying,
“Great and amazing are Your deeds,
O Lord God the Almighty!
Just and true are Your ways,
O King of the nations!”  Revelation 15:3

32205

What a mighty God I serve!  LORD, guide my path.  Keep my feet moving and going straight towards, through, and into the purpose which Your way serves.  May I glorify You in the ways in which I go.  Should I take wrong turns, please guide me back so that I may fulfill Your purposes.  LORD, You are everything to me and I want to be obedient to You in all I am and all I do.  May I glorify You in all ways.  I pray in the beautiful Name of Jesus.  Amen.  

6809a8dc401311462f5d123df85340e7

 

Graphic: Isaiah 55:8 https://www.knowing-jesus.com/

Graphic: Isaiah 55:9  https://www.todayschristianwoman.com/

The Lifter of My Head

23995592628_35091cf091_b

But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.  Psalm 3:3 ESV

Can you recall a time when someone you loved, someone you looked up to and adored, took your lowered head and gently raised your chin with his or her hand?  Your lip may have been quivering, a tear running down your cheek.  That person lifted your head until your eyes met when you saw their loving eyes.  You sensed the care and gentleness they had towards you.  Your heart was touched by this one’s protection, love, reassurance, and care for you…just you at that very moment.

Slow down and remember such a moment, such a person as this.  Ponder the memory.  If you cannot find this memory, imagine such a one.

God, our Father, feels this way about us, even more so, I’d say.  God is our Creator.  He loves each one of us.  He is our Shield.  He encircles us with His strength, His power, and His might.  He defends and protects us in ways we cannot even know.

…: He is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and He in whom I take refuge,….  Psalm 144:2 ESV

God is our glory, deserving our praise and exaltation.  He is majestic.   As we kneel before Him, the love and reverence we feel towards Him is given.

In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God.  Psalm 62:7 NKJV

He lifts us up high.  As we stand, let nothing in the world pull us down.  He sent His Son to die for us and nailed our sins to the cross.  Ashamed …no, we are not to be, but we are to stand strong in the LORD.

For I live in eager expectation and hope that I will never do anything that causes me shame, but that I will always be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past, and that my life will always honor Christ, whether I live or I die.  Philippians 1:20 NLT

Lifting my head is looking up and seeing the Father’s glory, His reflection, His love.  His touch is gentle and kind.  He created me and knows my potential.  He lifts me up.  Confidence is being built in me through Him.  Lifting my head helps me to see beyond my circumstances.  The grief I am in the midst of needs to be walked through over time, but my head is lifted higher than that grief.  My head is also higher than anything that is not of God.  None of that controls me when my head is lifted.

He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.  Psalm 40:2 ESV  

I can see above this earthly plane.  I know that God, my Father, lights the skies for my way as I follow Him.  Fears are released and given no power for the LORD is the power.  The LORD steadies me, holding me securely as I walk this life’s journey.

“Then He said to them, “What man is there among you who has one sheep, and if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not lay hold of it and lift it out?”  Matthew 12:11 ESV

4188410e395a33ebe8baf7567eabff48

 LORD, I pray that each one of us seek You, the Lifter of our heads, our salvation.  You call us to come before You in thanksgiving and praise.  We bow before the cross and ask for forgiveness, knowing that You have already poured Your grace upon us.  Abba Father, thank You for giving us vision to see beyond our current point in this life, past the pain and suffering whether of ourselves, those around us, or of those in this world.  You know all.  You call us to Your side, lifting us from the miry clay.  Thank You, Sweet LORD.  We love You dearly.  Amen.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the LORD, and He will lift you up.  James 4:10 NKJV

 

3b9ae73d6ff42ab012b0f127f80f203c

 

 

1st graphic:  https://faithful-in-christ.tumblr.com/post/166727098620

2nd graphic:  http://www.pinsdaddy.com/psalm-3_XprbKZ%7Clst%7C8STsGXN7kQ0kU4Y7L2lvVS0g5ClQfduM/

There is a Plan

3

Have these thoughts ever crossed your mind: “Does God even know I am here?”  “Does He care about me, little me?”

The great news is that He does know and He caresall about youall about me.  And I am not little in His mind.  I am His.  That is what matters.  I am so very grateful.  I love the Lord and cling to Him even closer right now in these days of grief.

Scripture is so reassuring.  I read Joshua 1:9 often.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Such an encouraging word to my heart, my whole being.

I read Isaiah 54:5 every morning since losing my earthly husband on June 7th:

For your Maker is your husband,
the LORD of hosts is His name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth He is called.

I am a widow on earth but have a Husband to provide for, love, support me in all ways.  Amen. 

So when I question God, which I do, He reminds me that He knows everything that I am going through, everything that I need, everything about me.  I cling to Jeremiah 29:11 for this verse draws me close to the One Who has a plan for my life, whatever time remains for me here.  I want to be obedient for this period of life.  I want to carry whatever cross I have to bear with the dignity that will be an open door to others in following Christ.  I want others to see Christ in me so they see Him first.  Jesus is such a beautiful gift to me and I desire that others will have this gift too.  Use me, Lord, for Your glory.  

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. ESV

jeremiah-29-11

מַחֲשָׁבָה

machashabah

a texture, machine, or (abstractly) intention, plan (whether bad, a plot; or good, advice):—cunning (work), curious work, device(-sed), imagination, invented, means, purpose, thought

‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’ NASB

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” NIV

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. KJV

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of shalom, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end. HNV

The plan God has for me is the perfect plan for the life I am to live.  I do not know exactly what that looks like right now, but I do know that He has one.  He had this plan from before the very beginning of my life.  Psalm 139 speaks so clearly of this beautiful promise:

O Lord, You have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from Your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there Your hand shall lead me,
and Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to You;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are Your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in Your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with You….23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:1-18, 23-24

I praise You, Father, from morning until night.  You are my God and know me perfectly.  I ask Your forgiveness for the many times I have failed You.  I repent from the ways that are not, were not, in Your plan.  You guide me.  You change me.  You love me always.  I ask You to walk ever closer to me, guarding my heart, guiding my steps.  I praise You, Lord.  In Christ, I lost the old Linda and was born anew.  In You, I have life.  I pray in the Holy Name of Jesus.  Amen.

I am forever…

beblacksig

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woman at Sunset: http://www.beliefnet.com/entertainment/galleries/does-god-really-want-to-know-me.aspx?p=3

Jeremiah 29:11 graphic: https://drlej.wordpress.com/2017/02/24/hope-and-a-future/

 

 

 

 

 

God is My Fortress

Sarzana-citadel-fortress

A mighty fortress is our God,
a bulwark never failing;**

Fortress

מָצוּד

matsuwd

a castle, defense, fort(-ress), (strong) hold, be hunted, net, snare, strong place

(And just for clarity, the word bulwark means a defensive wall, rampart, fortification
a person, institution, or principle that acts as a defense.)

God is my Fortress.  He is the place I run to and take refuge.  He is the fortification, the wall, the stronghold behind which I crouch and know I am protected.  He is the One Who places me in the cleft of the rock where I am sheltered.  Praise Him for tucking me into a safe place no matter what I am going through or feeling.  Right now, He is my safety net.  He is the wall behind which I hide.  Thank You, my Father, for You are so much more than I could imagine.  Thank You for protecting me and caring about and for me as I walk through this valley of the shadow of death.  Oh, thank You, Lord for protecting me. 

1 And David spoke to the Lord the words of this song on the day when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies, and from the hand of Saul. 2 He said,
“The Lord is my Rock and my Fortress and my Deliverer,
3 my God, my Rock, in whom I take refuge,
my Shield, and the Horn of my salvation,
my Stronghold and my Refuge,
my Savior; you save me from violence.
4 I call upon the Lord, Who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.   2 Samuel 22:1-4

God is all of those to me too.  David has given me a place to see just how mighty our God truly is.  The Rock, Shield, Stronghold, Fortress…all depicting strength and power and security.  This is the God Whom I walk with daily.  I feel His sheltering Presence all around me.  Oh, how wonderful!

For You are my Rock and my Fortress;
and for Your name’s sake You lead me and guide me.  Psalm 31:3

psalms-59-16

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My Refuge and my Fortress,
my God, in Whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:1-2

Lord, as I walk this journey, so much of it I must walk alone for grief is different for each one of us.  There are pieces and parts that may be similar, yet never quite the same whether it is the time, the circumstances, the way one died…so many factors.  BUT…I am never really alone for You are with me…always.  You guide me and comfort me, love me and hold me.  You are the fortress to which I come and find safety.  The world cannot touch me when I abide in You for the walls of the Fortress are deep and wide.  Walking obediently in You shelters me too.  O Lord, I am so blessed.  Yet, this road I am on is so hard, so difficult.  I miss Kenneth so.  He loved me like no one else.  Yes, Mom loved me dearly.  A mother’s love is so different than a husband’s love though.  So I sense I would be comparing apples to oranges if I were to compare my mother’s love to my husband’s.  Kenneth and I had a marriage with You, Christ Jesus, our Center.  You never left us.  Thank You, Father. 

f647b0a6e958a7d1ebfccd1412c26830

Although that threefold cord feels broken to me now, I do not believe it is.  Kenneth has gone on ahead of me, as he told me near the end of his life on earth.  I do not know anything about life after death, but I sense that this God-given marriage is still that…given to me, to us, by You, God.  Of course, I still miss my Kenneth.  I know now that he was on loan to me for 25 years for which I am so grateful.  His time to return Home came.  Now I am learning to walk this path with You, Lord, and without Kenneth.  Sometimes I have doubts and fears.  Then You remind me of the Mighty Fortress that You are.  I stand inside the walls and know that I am safe and protected.  I am filled with gratitude for Who You are.  I pray in the Name of Christ Jesus.  Amen.  

bwturq sig

 

 

“Sarzana citadel fortress”:  https://www.cepolina.com/Sarzana-citadel-fortress.html

** “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God”  Text: Martin Luther Trans. by Frederick H. Hedge
Music: Martin Luther Harmony from The New Hymnal for American Youth
Tune: EIN’ FESTE BURG

Psalm 59:16 – https://dailyverses.net/psalms/59/16

Christ-Centered Marriage photo: https://quotesgram.com/christ-centered-marriage-quotes/

Joy Abounds? Seriously?

Oil of Joy by Stacy Lee Christian Art

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He might be glorified.  Isaiah 61:3

On my recent visit with my sisters, the one I spent the most time with noticed something about me that surprised her, I believe.  She was amazed and delighted to see me with “joy” exuding from my very being.  She used the word “joy” with a sweet happiness on her face. She mentioned it again on the phone this past weekend.

The question is: how can I be exuding joy when I am in the midst of mourning my precious husband?  How can this be? My heart hurts.  It is heavy, filled with sorrow.  The tears come and they go, but they are always right there, ready to leak out.

I have been pondering all of this and believe I know what Annette is seeing, sensing, feeling in and about me.  It is the joy of the Lord It is the Holy Spirit dwelling in me.  It is the joy of the Lord as my strength.  This is the only answer.  Truly, it is!

…yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.  GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
He makes my feet like the deer’s;
He makes me tread on my high places.  Habakkuk 3:18-19

שָׂשׂוֹן

sasown

cheerfulness; specifically, welcome:—gladness, joy, mirth, rejoicing

Matthew Henry, in his Commentary writes about Isaiah 61:3

  • Beauty for ashes. Whereas they lay in ashes, as was usual in times of great mourning, they shall not only be raised out of their dust, but made to look pleasant. Note, The holy cheerfulness of Christians is their beauty and a great ornament to their profession.
    • (Me: As God changes the ashes to beauty, He turns sorrow into joy quickly for He speaks, and it is done.  Kenneth has been gone almost 3 months now [amazing for it seems like yesterday].  Annette not only saw this joy in me a few weeks ago, but she heard it over the phone within the first month after Kenneth died.)

isaiah_61_3 1

  • (Matthew Henry):The oil of joy, which make the face to shine, instead of mourning, which disfigures the countenance and makes it unlovely. This oil of joy the saints have from that oil of gladness with which Christ himself was anointed above his fellows,

“You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
therefore God, your God, has anointed you
with the oil of gladness beyond your companions.”  Hebrews 1:9

oil-of-joy-title

  • (Matthew Henry):  The garments of praise, such beautiful garments as were worn on thanksgiving-days, instead of the spirit of heaviness, dimness, or contraction-open joys for secret mournings. The spirit of heaviness they keep to themselves (Zion’s mourners weep in secret); but the joy they are recompensed with they are clothed with as with a garment in the eye of others. Observe, Where God gives the oil of joy he gives the garment of praise. Those comforts which come from God dispose the heart to, and enlarge the heart in, thanksgivings to God. Whatever we have the joy of God must have the praise and glory of.

garment-of-praise

…looking to Jesus, the Founder and Perfecter of our faith, Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.   Hebrews 12:2 

“As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”  John 15:9-11

“…may be full” … filled with Him.  What greater joy can there be but the joy of the LORD, the One Who went to the cross for us, to save us, to suffer for us.  He was the joy that was set before Him as He endured the cross.  We ask how?  How did He have joy as He died on the cross, the torturous death which it was?  How?  He is joy.  He endured the cross because He loved us each and all so very much.  The cross was horrible, but the purpose for which He endured that cross outweighed the horribleness of it.  It was the reason He came to earth as a human.  He came to take our sin to that cross and gave us eternal life. Joy is beautiful.  Joy is full.

As I was reading a devotional this morning in Psalm 34, I read verse 5.  It said it all:

Those who look to Him are radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.  ESV

Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.  NLT

Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.  NIV

They looked expectingly unto Him, And they became bright, And their faces are not ashamed.  YLT

psalm_34_4-5_3x5So I ask how can I look like joy on the outside when my heart is broken and so filled with sorrow?  Jesus.  I have Jesus.  He is my joy.  I can live each day because I have Jesus.  I am mourning, and I am comforted.  I am mourning and am filled with the love of God.  I am mourning and am filled to overflowing with the joy of the Lord.

joy of the Lord

…And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”  Nehemiah 8:10b

beauty-for-ashes1

Lord, I am truly in awe of Your beauty.  You have so much love for me, Your sheep.  I fail You again and again, yet You never cease to love me.  Thank You, Lord; thank You.  You hold me near as I can feel You right here.  You fill me with unimaginable joy and love in the very midst of grief.  How wonderful You are.  Great is Your faithfulness.  You comfort me with Your touch, Your nearness, Your gentleness.  You change my ashes of sorrow to beauty.  You clothe me in garments of praise, taking the spirit of heaviness away.  And You drench me in the oil of joy while I mourn.  Joy, praise, and beauty that are each and all You projecting from me out into this world.  Thank You for such wonderful gifts, Lord.  I am on my knees before You, loving You.  I pray and I praise in the Name of all names, Christ Jesus.  Amen. 

 

beblacksig

 

 

Credits:

Isaiah 61:3/Joy:  http://stacyleeart.blogspot.com/2009/04/christian-contemporary-art-series-on.html

Beauty for Ashes: https://brandinicolejm.wordpress.com/

Oil of Joy: http://belovedlove.org/

Garments of Praise: https://becomingtheoilandwine.com/2016/06/11/the-garment-of-praise/

Psalm 34:5: http://www.psalmsquotes.com/

Joy of the Lord: https://beingwoven27.files.wordpress.com/2018/09/2adff-joy2bof2bthe2blord.jpg

You Give Me Beauty:  https://mariekalake.com/2014/09/22/beauty-for-ashes/

Love

large_1x_heartI have been with family for the past two weeks.  It was a special time in San Diego, California where we spent much of our youth.  (We were a Navy family.)  We also rented a cabin in Lake Arrowhead (a place where our mother often took us during the summers).  I needed my family and they needed to see me…to see that I am doing alright, no matter if I was crying or laughing.  I love my sisters and their husbands, my nephew, his wife and 6-year-old daughter.  It was all great!  A much needed respite!

100_1889

This blog has been rather quiet for months while caring for Kenneth as his body was dying of cancer.  I am learning to be a widow.  I am learning just how close I desire to walk with my Lord…closer than ever before.   The sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit, the wind of the Spirit hovers all around me.  I am here for Him.  I want to be woven even more tightly and share this journey on Being Woven.  I pray I hear rightly and type the words of The Word here…both for me and for you, sweet friends.
Kenneth & Linda (2)
Kenneth and I had a beautiful marriage. ( I had experienced a bad marriage for ten years in the 1970s.)  Kenneth was God’s gift to me for 25 years.  I was blessed and he told me often just how much he loved me and how blessed he was too.  We walked under the Lord’s umbrella and I under Kenneth’s.  Our love grew in depth over those 25 years.  We loved each other just the way we were.  We accepted each other’s rough spots and allowed each other to be who God created us to be.  We were so right for one another.

protection

As I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 earlier today, God spoke to my heart.  The love which Kenneth loved me with was God’s Love.  God loves me still, although Kenneth is gone from this earth.  Kenneth loves me still, I believe.  The love I am now receiving flows from God as it did from Kenneth.  God is with me every moment of every day.  I miss Kenneth tremendously and weep over my personal loss, yet God is love.  God is my Husband:

For your Maker is your Husband,
the Lord of hosts is His name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth He is called.
For the Lord has called you
like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
like a wife of youth when she is cast off,
says your God.   Isaiah 54:5-6 

Yes, I feel Kenneth still with me in so many ways.  God is truly with me and I am not alone.  I seek His face in the night and in the day.

And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.  1 John 4:16

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

Losing Kenneth does not leave me without love nor to be nothing.  God created me and wove love into my very being. I desire to be obedient to Him and love Him with all of my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength. (Mark 12:30 and Deuteronomy 6:5)

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the Truth.

Kenneth was so patient and kind.  He rejoiced in God’s Truth.  God, my Husband for all ages, is patient and kind.  He does not envy nor boast. He rejoices in the Truth for He is Truth.  He wants me to rejoice in the Truth as well.

7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:1-13

I have never read this chapter in 1 Corinthians with such clarity.  It is about my marriage and the earthly love of my life.  BUT…it is all about God for He is Love.
God-is-love_825_460_80_c1

 

And 1 John 4 dwells upon the God of lovel:

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.
13 By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as He is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because He first loved us.   1 John 4:7-19

God-is-love

LORD my God, You are in my midst,
You are the Mighty One Who will save;
You rejoice over me with gladness,
You quiet me with Your love,
You rejoice over me with singing. (praying Zephaniah 3:17 to myself)

You love me for You created me.  You are my Husband and will love me for always because You are God and You are Love.  You loved me first and spun Your love into a Blood red strand, the Blood of Your Son, Christ Jesus, my Lord and Savior.  You continuously weave this Blood-stained strand in and throughout my life.  Praising You, Father, for loving me as I am.  One day, I, too, will be woven perfectly before You in the Heavenly realm.  In the Name of Christ, I pray.  Amen.   

 

8213ba8b106f9c53124e7f45360e2f1fwoven-cotton-fabric-josephine-red-x-10cm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heart: https://dryicons.com/free-graphics/heart?page=2  Icon by Dryicons

Umbrella: https://dryicons.com/free-icons/umbrella Icon by Dryicons

God is love graphic #1: http://righteousnessislove.org/reimaging-god-sermon-series-ty-gibson

God is love graphic #2: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/god/who-is-god/god-is-love/

Woven fabric: https://www.mapetitemercerie.com/en/cotton-fabric/26323-woven-cotton-fabric-josephine-red-x-10cm.html

 

My Heart — Your Dwelling Place (a Repost)

A Repost of mine from March 19, 2017.  These words of a year and a quarter ago feel like I wrote them today:

David built houses for himself in the city of David. And he prepared a place for the ark of God and pitched a tent for it.  1 Chronicles 15:1

אֹהֶל

‘ohel

a tent (as clearly conspicuous from a distance):—covering, (dwelling) (place), home, tabernacle, tent

I will consecrate the tent of meeting and the altar.   Aaron also and his sons I will consecrate to serve Me as priests Exodus 29:44

As the Israelites sojourned from place to place, they would pitch their tents where God called them to do so, and folded the tents when God called them to move on.

And let them make Me a sanctuary, that I may dwell in their midst.  Exodus 25:8

While the Israelites were traveling, God had, as His dwelling place, a tabernacle in a physical tent that could be picked up and moved with the Children of God.  We, too, live in spiritual tents as we journey in this place.

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.   2 Corinthians 5:1

heart blog

And the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live.   Deuteronomy 30:6

As I travel the highway of holiness, growing closer to God, I know that my days are numbered.  I know not how many, yet I know that one day I shall be with my Maker.  I see many signs of aging such as my gray and white hair, walking more slowly and limping at times.  I have limitations now that I did not have when I was 20, 30, even 40.  For the time remaining in my life, I walk with my LORD, staking my tent where He says, packing it up as He directs, to carry along as I go.  I am a stranger on this earth, a sojourner here until God’s time for me comes.

We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.  1 Chronicles 29:15

lord I am coming

My heart is a tabernacle for the LORD.  My life is His.  I live for Him as He lives in me.

Father God, You call me to You as we walk this way together.  I pray that I am most willing to follow You, taking up my cross daily, picking up and stretching out this tent each day.  May my heart truly be the tabernacle of Your Spirit, physically as well as spiritually, Father.  The precious thought that Your Spirit lives right in my heart delivers such love and joy to me!  No matter what the circumstances of my life look like from moment to moment of each day, I know that I am Yours and that I am not a stranger to You.  I have been known by You since before I was born, since before this earth came into existence.  Oh, that You created me and have made me Yours.  How joyous I feel all over!  The order of my days is in Your hands.  I pray that I am obedient to You.  You called me to be a citizen in Heaven with You.  So, as I walk the remainder of my days on this earth, I have Your Kingdom to look forward to, my Sweet LORD.  I pray in the Name of Jesus.  Amen and Amen. 

 

befuschiasig

 

 

Bleeding Heart Photo (graphics by me): https://pixabay.com/en/bleeding-hearts-flowers-cluster-red-55120/

Painted Heart (graphics by me): by Michal Boubin @ http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/1-painted-heart–symbol-of-love-michal-boubin.jpg

Psalm 27:8 photo: by Lana G @  https://verseography.com/2011/08/25/psalm-278-come-and-talk-with-me/