Question to ponder from Soli Deo Gloria:
As much as I would like to answer the first two parts of this question, I cannot. I have done nothing that brought release…YET…not taken a vacation that provoked renewal…YET… ALTHOUGH… I certainly do long to be refreshed, renewed, and released. So the third part of this question is where I am… this moment, this place. I stand upon ground that is built upon the Rock and ask for this time.
I am looking upon a time, right around the corner, that is to be a start for real closure to my Mama’s death this past January 30th. We will head to Washington, D.C., for burial of her ashes with my father’s remains in Arlington National Cemetery. It has been over seven months. It takes time for the scheduling of funerals at this honored cemetery. Mama wanted to be buried with her beloved husband of twenty years, he having had died fifty-three years ago. Time…. Not only will there be a sense of this closure’s beginning, but there will be a time for more complete closure with Daddy’s death. We were just kids. Fifty-three years is a long time. Time…. This should allow for RELEASE of a long-lived life, 98 years, almost 99, our Mama…. Time. At last.
Then there is family time as some of the family will be there and be together in a place where we once lived when Daddy was stationed in Washington, D.C., with the Navy as a doctor. We have a house and neighborhood to revisit, recalling moments of childhood. More RELEASE along with some REFRESHMENT that comes with recalling young, memories with both parents.
We will have a new child in our family with us there. We will meet this 16 month old, Mama’s first great granddaughter whom she never got to meet, but knew all about. REFRESHMENT in new life. From this time together, and then separating to return home to three different states, we will share special memories together, quiet thoughts that will be ours alone, gentle peace that will float down upon us as we have finally been able to lay this precious woman to rest. This is something that needs to happen before the next stage can actually begin, for me. This brings RENEWAL for me. I have been a caregiver for fifteen years and have felt that weight being lifted these past months, but it is time to move beyond the walls of burden through this final act.
Yes, I miss her terribly, but am ready to have this funeral behind us with new outlooks ahead. We have been waiting. Time has been ticking. We could not move forward until this happened. TIME. Our dreams and hopes have been in the air. We will have time to revisit them each, listen for God’s calling, and see where life might be taking us next. RENEWAL IS NEEDED HERE. It is coming in God’s time.
Father God, I lift this funeral and small family gathering to You, for Your will. I thank You for my Mama and know that You have her in Your hands. May we here on this earth rest in You as this funeral comes and goes, and may we continue to depend upon You for our all, our provision, our future steps, our care and comfort. Father, You are my LORD and have held me close to You. You are the God of all comfort, my comfort for which I am ever so grateful. I praise You and know that You are calming my heart and preparing the way before us. Thank You, Abba. In the Name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.