— Author Unknown
Can’t you feel this droplet of water so ready to drop from the tiny blade of grass? It’s weight is making it heavier and heavier so that soon it can fall to the ground and water that which is below. Letting go is a difficult part of life as we tend to hang on, for releasing that which we know is harder than walking into that which we know nothing about. Life changes happen for all of us. It is the way we handle them that makes the difference.
Born to a Navy doctor and his wife in 1947, I learned to be uprooted, moving to a new place (Daddy’s next duty station). Sometimes, he went away (deployed as we know today), leaving us behind. One time, he had to go a way, and we (my mother and two younger sisters) moved to Chicago to live with my grandparents for about a year. So letting go of friends, neighbors, school, a place, and a home were just a part of life. I loved to move, to change. I did not leave well though for I did not let go of all that I left behind, not just the people, but the child-world I lived in…on bases, in neighborhoods, being around other Navy children and families. I missed people more than anything. I still, to this day, write to a girl I met in the first grade. It may be just Christmas cards now, but it began with many handwritten letters and postcards. There were several times when she and I lived near again and we spent a week in the summer together; another time as adults, we met for lunch. She is just one of the many I have kept in touch with over the years.
But I was just a child and knew none of this then!
My dear father died when I was 12. I truly did not let go. He was so special to me and I was just at that age to need my Daddy more than I could have imagined. He was gone forever, yet not out of my mind and especially not out of my heart.
I did not let him go well either.
Do not forsake me, O LORD! O my God, be not far from me! Psalm 38:21
Oh! How I needed those words! But I did not have them in my heart then.
I was married out of college to a man that was not good for me. Ten years later, we divorced. I left as much as I could behind, but my heart and my inside-self were flat as a pancake, run over by a Mack truck … hurt, angry, sad, feeling as a failure with no self-esteem.
I let go as best I could because I was so ready, yet I was crushed and needed a lot of care. I carried much baggage with me.
“It is the LORD Who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8
These words minister to me now. Only if I had known them then!
I began searching for a gap-filling something. I thought it might be “church” and met a great singles group that did care about and for me. They were special in my life. I had a few other special women who tenderly loved me back to a better place, yet I moved away, leaving those friends behind. I also left the “church” behind. Thinking about that particular church, it now seems so shallow to me. I attended other “churches” that gave me the warm fuzzies that I thought I needed, but they were what I now know to be new age churches. I tried to let them go, working at leaving their messages behind.
We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. Romans 6:6-8
I did not know!
One day, I met Jesus. He filled me with the Truth. He covered me with His Love. He came in and sat with me. He told me what I needed to hear, made me feel loved and wanted. He came alongside me to teach and guide me. The words that are in the past tense above in this paragraph are always in the present tense now. He does not leave me. He is with me in the hard moments, illnesses, trials. He also does not leave me in the beautiful moments, the flowers blooming, new Spring growth on the trees, the butterflies and ladybugs fluttering by, the gift of Kenneth as my husband who loves me dearly.
When He was at the table with them, He took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened, and they recognized Him. And He vanished from their sight. They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while He talked to us on the road, while He opened to us the Scriptures?” Luke 24:30-32
The Light shone before me and I finally saw! All that I ever needed was and is Jesus. Just Jesus.
Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:21-24
Yes, I know now. I am His. And I am learning to let go of past hurts and worries, future concerns, and current struggles. I walk with the One Who has all of the answers. I sit at His feet learning the Truth. I bow before Him and worship my King. And I kneel before the cross with my life in my hands to lay at His feet. I don’t need to say, “If only I had known….” I have Jesus and He has me and that’s all that matters.
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8
LORD, I thank You for bringing me through so many changes in my life. Thank You for loving me as I took so many wrong turns, for helping me carry heavy loads. You have guided me into the Truth. You teach me more and more each and every day. Hold me near for I desire to always walk out the plans You have for my life. Shelter me when I am in the storms of life, and comfort me as I learn to let go of that which needs to go. I love You, LORD, and praise Your Holy Name. Amen.