Being Woven

Kenneth

Kenneth

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
they comfort me.  Psalm 23:4

My sweet Kenneth left this earth in the early hours of Thursday, June 7th, 2018.  Peace, love and awe were written all over his face and in the ways of his still hands…truly, he showed me the way he died.  A beautiful moment, yet so hard on my heart.

He has left this harsh world for the glories of heaven.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In January, 2018, Kenneth became very ill, was transported to Houston Methodist Hospital where Diffuse Large B-Cell Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma was diagnosed. He chose hospice versus treatment and we were blessed with five precious months! Kenneth did all he could to make sure this house was in order for me. He taught me things I would need to do and know; had me take notes for repetitive chores that I will need to remember.

We spent time talking of life and death and of our faith in Christ. We loved one another dearly and deeply. We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary on May 22. We had a wonderful and special marriage. I am so very grateful to God for my husband, Kenneth.

Kenneth served in the US Army as a Sergeant E-5, 3rd/506th Airborne (Combat) Infantry, 101st Airborne Division. He served in Vietnam from 4/1968-4/1969. This cancer has been identified as possibly caused by exposure to Agent Orange during the Vietnam War.
101small

Agent Orange

Our Vietnam War Veterans may not have been welcomed home rightly upon their return to US soil, but Kenneth received a beautiful welcome into his heavenly Home by Jesus Christ, his Lord and Savior.

Praising the Lord in my sorrow,  I ask You, Father, to watch over my steps, to guide me each day as I follow You .  Thank You for the sweet five months Kenneth and I had together at the end of his life.  I so praise You, Lord, for the peace that I saw upon my sweet Kenneth’s face.  I loved him so and thank You for the 25 years we had together.  I have You for Eternity and what a glorious thought that is to my heart.  I will look to You as my Husband and Redeemer, Lord, for You say in Isaiah 54:5:  

For your Maker is your husband,
The LORD of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.

And You care for and about the widow, as I am one now:

Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let thy widows trust in Me.  Jeremiah 49:11

I pray in the Name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, Amen. 

 

beblacksig

 

44 Comments

  1. Dear Linda, I have tried to think of the right words to write you and I fail. There are no magic words to heal grief, but only through faith and time on that journey.I’m so very sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like he was a wonderful man that loved/served God and his country.And he loved you very much- I can tell that by the way you write about him. I found that your quote on your newest post, On Being A Widow, “Hope is grief’s best music.” is a wonderful thought to hold. I wish I lived closer to you to give you a hug in person. Please know that you have been on my mind, in my heart and in my prayers daily. Your faith is so inspiring to me. I treasure the friendship that we have found through our faith in Jesus and our blogs.Sending much love, my dear friend. You have some wonderful angels watching over you in heaven.

    Like

    • Through frequent (and happening now) tears, I thank you, Kathleen. You are such an angel-on-earth to me. Your love and care about me are precious. Thank you as I hold you in prayer and was glad to read that you were doing better. Holding you up, and loving you, ~ linda

      Like

  2. Liz Giertz

    Oh, Linda! Praying God would continue to sustain you with His peace, comfort, and strength as you grieve and begin your new normal.

    Like

  3. Linda, ever since I first stopped by your blog home a couple of months ago and read about your Kenneth, I have wondered how you are. I tried to comment on your most recent post, but I think my computer is acting up, so I’m commenting on this post.

    I noticed your comment on Michele Morin’s post today, and I had to stop by here. I am so sorry. I know Kenneth is free of all that encumbers us here, and that is a reason to rejoice. But I can only imagine the depth of emotion you are navigating now. I am praying for you as you and God walk this new-to-you path.

    Like

    • Thank you so much, Jeanne. Yes, it is a new path for me, and yes, God is with me every step of this way. I feel blessed and saddened all at the same time. But the strength of the Lord is holding me up and firmly…when I allow Him to do that. Sometimes, I just fall into “I miss him so” and that is ok too, for it tends to be short-lived for me. His joy is far better for me. Thank you for caring.

      Like

  4. Ugh so sad!!!! What you wrote was so very moving! I’m so sorry for your loss, he sounds like he was a wonderful man and husband.

    Hugs!!!
    Stephanie

    Like

  5. Your Love of the Lord has been such a Sweet help since Our Loving Father Suddenly took My Dearest to Glory, April 2, where we have served the Lord in the Philippines the last 30+ years after 45+ years of Sweet marriage. I am still in Shock and think I may always be until I reach that Glorious Shore. But, My Dearest is now Fully Alive, living in my Future, Forever safe in the Arms of Jesus. I used to believe Psalm 23 was for the ‘dying’ but realize it is the Living that Walk thru the Valley of the Shadow of the ArchEnemy-death- that Fear no evil… the Psalm of the Grieving. I Love the LORD with all my being and am totally Secured in HIS sovereignty. Ephesians 1:17-23 “… the hope of His calling… the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,the surpassing greatness of His power toward us believing according to the working of the power of His might..which He worked in Christ, having raised Him out from the dead…” Hourly, The Father pours HIS Word and Understanding thru me as I Walk this Valley and Fear no evil…this process of Grief startles me constantly…clearly the ravages of death…an unwelcome, unruly intruder, held at bay only by the Great Savior of our Souls. I have been receiving GriefMails of Comfort and today’s may speak to your heart … Grieving Before the Loss Day 48
    When a person you love is sick or suffering, you begin to grieve before the actual loss. In some cases you may think that most of your grieving is already done. But despite your preparations, the grief that occurs after a person’s death goes beyond all your expectations.
    Dr. Jim Conway lost his wife after a long battle with cancer. He says, “Sally got sick in 1990, and we talked frankly. She went through repeated surgeries, radiation, and chemo over the next seven years. I thought that because we had talked so much that there would be no grief. I really thought that I had resolved all that.
    “But it is not like that at all. It was like looking at a video about jumping out of an airplane, free-falling, and finally your parachute opens. All of the previous stuff was just preparatory information, but it was not actually going out of the plane; it was not experiencing grief.
    “When Sally died, it was as if somebody pushed me out of the plane, and now I am free-falling—this is what grief is like. You are in free fall. You wonder if the parachute is ever going to open. You wonder if you’re going to hit the ground at 120 miles per hour.”
    Only You, Almighty God, can keep me from falling. I turn to You, believing Your promise: “To him who is able to keep [me] from falling and to present [me] before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen” (Jude 24-25).http://www.griefshare.org/dailyemails/

    Like

    • Thank you so very much. You are right. A month Saturday…so I am extremely a new kid on this block and our precious five months of sharing, loving, talking and pondering helped, surely helped me, but only the Lord can hold me up and close. Only He is my Treasure on earth. Your words, especially…”My Dearest is now Fully Alive, living in my Future, Forever safe in the Arms of Jesus.” Living in MY future…” what comforting words to my heart this morning. Yes, he is in my future as I look forward to that day when I see the Lord face-to-face and when Kenneth and I are reunited. Kenneth would say to me, “I am not leaving you, Linda. I am just going ahead of you.” That, too, is so comforting to me heart in these days. Thank you also for the reminder of how Psalm 23 is for those of us who grieve because it truly is. I have been blessed by your visit to Being Woven and leaving me these words which gather together together somewhere inside of me, making sense to a rather numb person right now. I would like to know your first name, if you are willing to share. I hope to write a bit more as I am able. I began a new post last night and will post it when it is ready, when I am ready. Also, I will go to the Grief Share site as well. Bless you as you walk in each day. You and I are living under the same sun and moon. We have similar heartaches. We are sisters in Christ. We have each lost our husbands, yet we have the Husband:
      “For your husband is your Maker,
      Whose name is the LORD of hosts;
      And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel,
      Who is called the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:5
      This verse comforts my heart. I have it on my dining table to read each time I sit there to eat. Very soothing to recall.
      Caring through Christ, ~ linda

      Like

  6. Oh, Linda, I’m so sorry! I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes. Your testimony to God’s faithfulness, to the love you shared with Kenneth, to the hope you have … the one we share, all I can say is wow! You have through this ministered to us and I thank you! May God hold you close and comfort you with His love.

    Like

    • Oh Deb, I, too, have tears in reading your words back to me. This is really hard yet I sense my heart is growing closer to God with each day. And I know that is His desire, but this is truly a tough one! I miss him so but have God as my husband now and keep that Isaiah Scripture at the dining table to remind me when I fail to remember such an important Truth for me in this days. Thanks, Deb.

      Like

  7. Hi Linda. So sorry for your loss. I love that you are processing it through the truth of God’s word to focus on Eternity and God’s comfort and provision now. I know it will still hurt and I am sad for that but I am encouraged by how you are encouraging yourself in the Lord.

    Like

  8. Oh Linda, I am so very sorry for your loss here on earth, but rejoice with you that you will once again be reunited with your husband in Glory. I love how in your prayer you stated that you have Jesus for eternity – He is your husband. What a comforting thought.

    You are an inspiration of Grace in the midst and aftermath of a storm. What a beautiful tribute you paid to your husband, and what Glory you brought to the Father.

    May the God of all Comfort, comfort you.

    Like

  9. Linda, what a beautiful tribute to your dear husband, Kenneth. Praying for you…O Heavenly Father, You are Jehovah Jireh, our provider, You are El Shaddai, our all-sufficient Heavenly Father, our Abba Daddy, You are everything we need. We ask you to wrap Your Loving Arms around Linda during this difficult time following Kenneth’s homegoing. You are close to the brokenhearted and You save those who are crushed in spirit. We know You respond to our sighs, our tears and our murmurs. We know You are near to all who call upon You; so near that You can feel breath when no voice can be heard for faintness. You are Jehovah Ra’ah, You are our Shepherd, we lack nothing. You make us lie down in green pastures, You lead us beside the still waters. You restore our souls. You lead us in the path of righteousness for Your name’s sake. Even when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we will fear no evil, for You are with us. You are Emmanuel, God with us. Your rod and Your Staff, your Holy Spirit and Your Word, they comfort us. You prepare a table before us in the presence of our enemies. You anoint our heads with oil, overflowing with blessings. Surely goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives and we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

    Like

    • Amen and Amen. Thank you, Beth. How blessed I feel upon reading this and praying with you. Today was Kenneth’s birthday so the day was more difficult than yesterday or some other days. This is a precious way to end this day. I love you, ~ linda

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh, Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. I feel awful that I didn’t know what was transpiring in your life. It is the downfall of our digital worlds. I often thought of you and wondered, but didn’t follow through in emailing you to see where you had been. I know you and he had a such a beautifully precious love story and marriage. I know you will miss him terribly. I am praying you continue to lean into the peace and hope of Christ as you grieve. Sending you much love.
    In Him,
    Lori

    Like

    • Oh Lori, you don’t need to apologize. God placed me on your heart from time to time and you thought of me, maybe prayed for me. God heard you, knows your heart, Lori. I am doing alright some of the time; some times not as good, but I am leaning on the Lord and that is what is key to my grief. Thanks for caring, ~ linda

      Like

  11. His peace and comfort to you.

    Like

    • Thank you. He has been showering us and now me with those two beautiful flavors of His love.

      Like

  12. Linda, I’m so sorry! Praying for God’s comfort to wrap around you, that you feel him fill solid half of your whole that is with him now. I’m so glad you had that time together between the diagnosis and when he went on home to heaven! I will be keeping you in my prayers! Shalom, sweet lady!

    Like

  13. Just found your website today looking for some pictures for my lesson Sunday on Heb. 7 and then see this post for today. What a beautiful tribute and such a short time to prepare your heart! I know a bit about grief – my 21 year old daughter died in 2002. I have a list of books that helped me during those early days of grief. God will be your refuge and strength, but I always tell the newly bereaved to take care of themselves. Sometimes words are not enough to express an aching heart. Psalm 42 became my favorite.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Like

  14. Annette

    It is such a blessing to read these beautiful words of kindness to my sweet sister. She has taught me such strength and love in these difficult times. They shared such a wonderful bond that we can all appreciate and strive for. Thank you for the love all of you have spread, it goes farther than you know.

    Like

  15. welcomeheart

    I’m so very sorry dear Linda. And you wrote a beautiful tribute. Keep writing, keep crying, keep remembering the words and Word you shared with us. It will take awhile. Be kind to yourself. There are no shortcuts in grief. love, sue PS My husband is a VA doc and loves his patients.

    Like

    • Thank you, Sue, for your words of guidance through this territory. I have grieved before a number of times, but never the love of my life, the husband who meant the world to me. I know it takes time and tender care. Thanks. I am so grateful for men like your husband. My Daddy was a Navy doctor and he loved his patients too.

      Like

  16. I am so sorry to hear this, Linda. Even though I knew it was coming, it’s still hard to read. 😦 But what a beautiful testimony of love! The last 5 months shows a true love story. Praying for you, friend.

    Like

    • Thanks, Lisa. We truly had/have a love story. Love like I have never known.

      Like

  17. Kyle Addison

    Linda,

    I’ve never been good with words, that one might use in times of passing. Lord knows I’ve experienced death, and I know I don’t like it’s bitter taste! But in your words for Kenneth, I can see Love. I’m humbled in your expression, you are truly a person of strength, and because of that strength… It must have given Kenneth peace, and the understanding, that he could let go. I hope that in these times, I can love as deeply as you, that I can see Gods will in times of loved ones passing, but most importantly I hope I can see Gods strength as you have shown me…

    I love you dearly, and as always I’m still learning from my favorite teacher!

    Kyle

    Like

    • Kyle, you have no idea how blessed I am to have you show up here and write these words. Kenneth did have the peace that truly passes ALL understanding from this earthly perspective…not because I showed strength, although I may have, but because God rained His strength, His peace, His love upon us continuously. He reigned in our hearts. Only the faith in God could get me through those five months and now… with Kenneth gone. I was told by a friend over the phone recently… “Be strong… and be weak, Linda. It is okay.” And I am both. I loved this man so deeply. I did not know what real love could be until Kenneth. He also introduced me to Jesus too, and shortly after, I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. (Karey showed me Jesus and talked to me about Him; you talked to me one night out on your back patio about Him when you showed me a star that you said was Karey, or where she was. Your whole family introduced Jesus to me, but I did not see Him clearly then. Took me until 1993 to see clearly the One Who saved me. I thank all of you Addisons for living in His light, that I would recognize Him one day years later. : )

      I pray that God’s will, His strength and His love will be there for you when and if you need them in your life, Kyle. Dependence and obedience to Him makes all the difference.

      Yes, you certainly have faced death from a far-too-young-of-an-age with Karey and others, I am sure, through the years.

      Who would’ve guessed that after 40 years, you would tell me you are still learning from me, your “favorite teacher.” Again, I love you, Kyle Addison.

      Caring through Christ, ~ linda

      Like

  18. Oh Dear Linda, My thoughts and prayers have been with you so much this spring. I am so sorry about your loss of Kenneth. What a sweet love the Lord gave you through those years, and especially through these last few months. I am continuing to pray for the Lord’s sufficient grace to carry you and hold your hand through every moment. Thank you for sharing the precious prayer the Lord gave to you. Hugs and Love to you.

    Like

    • Oh Bettie, thank you for reading this and for sharing. I have known that we were in prayers these months and I am so very grateful. And thank you for continuing to lift me up into the hands of God. Your words mean a lot to me.

      Like

  19. Dear Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. But so glad you had that precious time together before he went to be with Jesus. May God comfort and strengthen as only He can. {{HUGS}} Love and blessings!

    Like

    • Gayl. thank you for your kind and caring words. The time truly was precious. I know that Kenneth is with his Lord and that gives me great comfort. I am in the arms of God each and every moment. Thanks,

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I can’t even imagine what joy Kenneth experienced on the day He stepped into glory and saw our Jesus face to face.

    Thank you for sharing his story with us. I am so thankful for our brave heroes who have fought for our freedom, but more importantly who have lived faithful lives in their homes and served their families with integrity and love. Men like Kenneth are so rare in our world. His life speaks of the power of the gospel to make a difference in our lives. — My heart hurts for you, sweet friend. Praying for God to give you grace to meet each moment.

    Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. Psalm 116:15.

    Your love story is precious in every way, and I am learning so much from your example. HUGS

    Like

    • May my tears be cupped in the hands of God before He places them in the bottle. I have many, but have Him and He holds me so near. I also have non-tear times and feel His grace everywhere and all through. I was truly blessed, Lyli, for the love that God gave me for those years. I never knew marriage could be this way, but had dreams that one day I would have this. I did…for 25 blessed years. We never argued…yes..disagreed now and again, but those were rare. I have a smile now. I love you, ~ linda

      Like

  21. I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for the beautiful marriage you had. May God’s peace and comfort surround you and fill your days. Sending prayers and hugs!

    Like

    • Mary, I truly had a beautiful marriage. I never knew any relationship like the one I had for these 25 years. Thanks for your sweet words. I do okay much of the time, but then the tears creep in and flow right on out. God holds me close through each moment, with love, ~ linda

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Such a precious time together Linda before he graduated into glory, you will treasure those last months through the valley & beyond dear friend, as I have done with those last 12 weeks with my Gint…

    When you’re ready you may enjoy a special treat of what Kenneth is now experiencing in my post “Eternity” & especially click on the “Excerpt” link within the post, it will bring you great joy in the sadness.
    Big hugs,
    Jennifer

    Like

  23. I am so sorry for the loss you are facing despite Kenneth’s gain in being present with the Lord. How precious was your sweet husband’s care for you as he sought to help you with all you would need to know when it was time for him to go home with our Lord.

    You’re right about our Vietnam veterans. My husband is one of those as well, serving with the U.S. Marine Corps as a Captain from 3/66 to 3/67. Our first child was born while he was away and he still feels the loss of being here for my pregnancy and so many first months and moments. He is on the list for Agent Orange and as yet has been healthy, but they are unsure if he came in contact with it (only that it was in the same area).

    May the Lord wrap you safely in His arms as you go forward and give you comfort, peace, and an abundance of His grace and love.

    Hugs, my friend,
    Pam

    Like

  24. Sorry you are missing your Kenneth. He is celebrating abundant life in heaven and cheering you on, in the great cloud of witnesses. Abundant blessings of comfort from the God of all comfort.

    Like

    • Beautiful words to me, Thank you for reminding me of the cloud of witnesses.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are welcome! Hugs!

        Like

  25. He’s caught the ultimate Freedom Bird, but I am so sorry for your loss.

    God bless.

    Like

    • “The ultimate Freedom Bird”…I love that, Andrew. Thanks.

      Like

  26. Beloved Linda, my heart goes out to you. This was your hardest challenge and you met it with Kenneth by your side and now you walk with his memory on your heart.
    Know the truth of Jeremiah 31:3 ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love. That is why I have continued to be faithful to you.
    Hugs and comfort to you.
    Gaye

    Like

    • Oh, Gaye, thank you for that Scripture. It is such a fine reminder of Whose I am, that I serve an ever Faithful God.

      Like

Your words are woven in

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: