I have been with family for the past two weeks. It was a special time in San Diego, California where we spent much of our youth. (We were a Navy family.) We also rented a cabin in Lake Arrowhead (a place where our mother often took us during the summers). I needed my family and they needed to see me…to see that I am doing alright, no matter if I was crying or laughing. I love my sisters and their husbands, my nephew, his wife and 6-year-old daughter. It was all great! A much needed respite!
This blog has been rather quiet for months while caring for Kenneth as his body was dying of cancer. I am learning to be a widow. I am learning just how close I desire to walk with my Lord…closer than ever before. The sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit, the wind of the Spirit hovers all around me. I am here for Him. I want to be woven even more tightly and share this journey on Being Woven. I pray I hear rightly and type the words of The Word here…both for me and for you, sweet friends.
Kenneth and I had a beautiful marriage. ( I had experienced a bad marriage for ten years in the 1970s.) Kenneth was God’s gift to me for 25 years. I was blessed and he told me often just how much he loved me and how blessed he was too. We walked under the Lord’s umbrella and I under Kenneth’s. Our love grew in depth over those 25 years. We loved each other just the way we were. We accepted each other’s rough spots and allowed each other to be who God created us to be. We were so right for one another.
As I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 earlier today, God spoke to my heart. The love which Kenneth loved me with was God’s Love. God loves me still, although Kenneth is gone from this earth. Kenneth loves me still, I believe. The love I am now receiving flows from God as it did from Kenneth. God is with me every moment of every day. I miss Kenneth tremendously and weep over my personal loss, yet God is love. God is my Husband:
For your Maker is your Husband,
the Lord of hosts is His name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth He is called.
For the Lord has called you
like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
like a wife of youth when she is cast off,
says your God. Isaiah 54:5-6
Yes, I feel Kenneth still with me in so many ways. God is truly with me and I am not alone. I seek His face in the night and in the day.
And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
Losing Kenneth does not leave me without love nor to be nothing. God created me and wove love into my very being. I desire to be obedient to Him and love Him with all of my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength. (Mark 12:30 and Deuteronomy 6:5)
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the Truth.
Kenneth was so patient and kind. He rejoiced in God’s Truth. God, my Husband for all ages, is patient and kind. He does not envy nor boast. He rejoices in the Truth for He is Truth. He wants me to rejoice in the Truth as well.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
I have never read this chapter in 1 Corinthians with such clarity. It is about my marriage and the earthly love of my life. BUT…it is all about God for He is Love.
And 1 John 4 dwells upon the God of lovel:
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.
13 By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as He is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:7-19
LORD my God, You are in my midst,
You are the Mighty One Who will save;
You rejoice over me with gladness,
You quiet me with Your love,
You rejoice over me with singing. (praying Zephaniah 3:17 to myself)
You love me for You created me. You are my Husband and will love me for always because You are God and You are Love. You loved me first and spun Your love into a Blood red strand, the Blood of Your Son, Christ Jesus, my Lord and Savior. You continuously weave this Blood-stained strand in and throughout my life. Praising You, Father, for loving me as I am. One day, I, too, will be woven perfectly before You in the Heavenly realm. In the Name of Christ, I pray. Amen.
Heart: https://dryicons.com/free-graphics/heart?page=2 Icon by Dryicons
Umbrella: https://dryicons.com/free-icons/umbrella Icon by Dryicons
God is love graphic #1: http://righteousnessislove.org/reimaging-god-sermon-series-ty-gibson
God is love graphic #2: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/god/who-is-god/god-is-love/