Monday’s Breaking Bread

@ Beloved Prodigal

My name is Linda. As I become part of the Beloved Prodigal team, I feel so very blessed. I will be breaking bread with you one Monday a month here (and every Monday as a reader) from Texas, USA.  May we gather around the Bread of Life.

Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but My Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is He Who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” John 6:32-33

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Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Galatians 4:6

I have been a prodigal child, one who wasted money and resources, one who has been reckless with what I had, one who disobeyed, was irresponsible…and I was an adult for the most part! I also admit, readily, that I fall back into that place from time to time. I wish I could say I did not, but I am human too.

I grew up in a Christian home and a military family as well. Mannerly and minding were very much a part of how I behaved, who I was as a child. The churches we attended taught Jesus, but never taught about having a relationship with Him. God and Jesus were “out there somewhere” so I never even knew that I could be close to my Creator, my Savior. At age twelve, I lost my earthly Daddy to Pancreatic cancer. Because I was the oldest of three girls, I was very close to Daddy. I tended to carry a lot of weight on my shoulders, feeling responsible for my whole family, or so I thought. By the time I was fifteen or sixteen, rebellion, in small ways, began to seep into my behavior when I would get away from home, away from adults. My Mom, raising three girls alone, tried to squelch the waves of disobedience as they rose, hoping to keep my sisters from following any example I might portray.

Sooner or later, though, another wave would roll through. I did not like being in trouble for I was, basically, a good girl. But I lacked the precious fatherly attention, love, and authority I was used to and so needed. I would search for it in many wrong places.

After college, I married wrong and stayed in that marriage for ten long years. I tried so hard to make the marriage work, but I could not do it alone! There was not an ounce of spirituality in the relationship either. We built our marriage on, literally, nothing. After the divorce, I spent the next thirteen years single, working hard and living life as best I could, but always looking for who I was, where I belonged and that fatherly love. I was so very LOST. Jeremiah touches my condition of ‘then’:

“But from our youth the shameful thing has devoured all for which our fathers labored, their flocks and their herds, their sons and their daughters.” Jeremiah 3:24

God knew where I was, but I did not. Over twenty-four years ago, I met my husband of today. While we were dating, not only were we getting acquainted with one another, but he would ask me questions which led him inside to a very lost soul. He found out quickly that I was searching. He introduced me to Jesus. Through many tears and hours together, I began to open my heart to both him and Jesus. My future husband had something I desperately wanted and needed. I listened. I asked questions. I prayed. I asked God for His answers.
Jesus gives a parable about being lost:

“Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Luke 15:8-10

When I finally saw that Jesus was the answer, I asked Him to come live in my heart. I rejoice for I was that lost coin. I have been His for twenty-four years now. This does not mean that I have never taken a wrong turn or gone down a wrong path. I have and, most likely, will in the future, but that is not my heartfelt desire. I want to be obedient and love the One Who loved me from my creation. I can look back and see many times He was right there waiting for me to open my heart to Him, yet I did not. I can hear people’s words to me and prayers for me, see situations that could have brought me to repentance, my turning around, years before, but I had a hardened heart from hurt and discouragement, from disappointment and heartache.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:3-6

I once found it hard to believe that God could love me so, but He sent His Son to pay the highest price for my sins. He then sent the Holy Spirit to teach me, to pray for me, to be right with me. I have the Holy Trinity with me always. I believe now!

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15

My Daddy, whom I lost at age twelve, was my earthly daddy. The Father I gained, by turning my heart to Jesus, is God. He is my Abba Father.

Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Galatians 4:6

Abba means father. There is an emphasis to Father by adding this Chaldean word, Abba, אַבָּא , to Father. It is a customary title of God in prayer. The Holy Spirit is in us to pray on our behalf because God loves us so.

Martin Luther writes:

“If we could be fully persuaded that we are in the good grace of God, that our sins are forgiven, that we have the Spirit of Christ, that we are the beloved children of God, we would be ever so happy and grateful to God. But because we often feel fear and doubt we cannot come to that happy certainty.
“Train your conscience to believe that God approves of you. Fight it out with doubt. Gain assurance through the Word of God. Say: “I am all right with God. I have the Holy Ghost. Christ, in whom I do believe, makes me worthy….”
“….Let us never doubt the mercy of God in Christ Jesus, but make up our minds that God is pleased with us, that He looks after us, and that we have the Holy Spirit who prays for us.” (Martin Luther Bible Commentary on Galatians)

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure. 1 John 3:1-3

I have a Father and He knows my name. This special song brings me to tears each time I hear it because I finally have God, my Father. I am not lost. I am not squandering my life away searching for anything else. I have everything in Christ…Everything.

I have a Maker
He formed my heart,
Before even time began
My life was in His hands
He knows my name
He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
I have a Father,
He calls me His own
He’ll never leave me,
No matter where I go
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call

I do my best to live each day as today, not tomorrow, and not yesterday. My life is in Christ, the Son of God. Today. I am blessed.

LORD, You always knew right where I was. You held me when I did not even know You were there, so close. You whispered my name until I finally heard Your beautiful voice calling to me. You drew me in to Your breast and comforted me from this world. You gave me a safe haven where I could learn how to be loved again unconditionally. I loved my earthly father dearly. I missed (and still miss) him so. You are my Father, my Heavenly Father. You never leave me. You do not forsake me even when I head off in my own direction. You always draw me back. You listen for and to me. You care about me. You comfort me. Oh, merciful God, thank You. Jesus, You are my Savior and my Brother. You hold my hand as we walk together. You do not scold me or hurt me or make me feel unworthy or an outcast. I am Yours. I feel so loved this day. May Your Presence light me up from the inside, that I would then share Your Light and Love with all in my world. In Your loving Name I pray. Amen.

Martin Luther’s Commentary on Galatians (16th Century): Galatians Chapter 4, verse 6
He Knows My Name (Tommy Walker) — (video) sung by Maranatha Singers