letting go

hanging-on

Oh, how I have struggled with aspects of life, wanting my own way, not wanting to lose control of things that I believe I have control over. There have been times where I just refused to give in and other times where I gave in feeling defeated. Either way, it was all about SELF, about ME!! My will, my ego needed nourishing and placed above all else, even above God…OR so I believed.

As I grow in the LORD, He shows me His way, His will. I let go, but not always without a struggle. So the lessons must be taught and re-taught. My desire to write about “letting go” has taken me down a sweet road with Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus, for never giving up on me, even when I have been stubborn. Thank You for walking with me and teaching me the Truth. You are The Word. You are where I desire to dwell.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

In the Name of Jesus, The Word. Amen.

A rope with two stories upon which I dangle and learn letting go!

from Genesis 32: And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Penuel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Genesis 32:24-31

A few verses earlier in this chapter of Genesis, Jacob prayed heartily to God for protection, laying out his great fears, and reminding God of His promises:
“… But You have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’ ” Genesis 32:12 How often I pray and then wrestle with all that I prayed, even with the prayers I did not know how to utter, often keeping me awake for hours into the night! Jacob stayed strong in his struggle and did not quit although he received an injury in the hip joint by a touch. Jacob’s faith in God and his deep prayer life prevailed above his fears. Jacob’s strength caused him to wrestle and prevail with God for promised blessings. God did bless him with a new name, Israel, meaning prince with God, a most honorable name, plus God fulfilled His promises. Jacob was forever reminded of this struggle by the hip injury, a limp. Jacob did not let go until God released him, yet he was humbled by the injury, yet praised and honored God for blessing him as well as deliverance of his life. As the sun rose, communion between Israel and God was shared. Jacob, now Israel, let go of his fears and no longer needed to wrestle with God.

from Luke 13: And there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, He called her over and said to her, “Woman, you are freed from your disability.” And He laid His hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and she glorified God. Luke 13:11-13

This woman struggled with a spirit that disabled her for a long time. Jesus touched her. Her body was healed…from bent-over to straight. She had lived in a humbled position all bent over for years, possibly dependent upon others, made fun of, or even neglected. The healing may have changed her posture and removed the disabling spirit, yet she did not go around saying, “Look at me! Look what I did!” What she did do was…“She glorified God.” I believe she remained humbled, recalling often her blessing from God. In continued humility, she praised Him, seemingly being able to let go of eighteen years of suffering and maybe there was self-pity to release too. How else can one rejoice as she did? God healed her. She could stand tall. I believe she could let go of the past, looked ahead and UPward unto God!

Letting go humbles me by understanding God’s promises, believing Him for them, praying unto Him, and standing strong in those promises and blessings, knowing He will, indeed, fulfill them. He may allow me to struggle with fibromyalgia, spinal stenosis, hip and knee issues. But I am continually reminded Who granted the blessings and promises.

Letting go humbles me by acknowledging God’s healing power and knowing that it is not me who heals myself, for I am poor, meek, and a sinner. God loves me and drew me to Him. He is my Healer. He is All I need. I can stand upright in Him no matter my physical, mental, emotional condition. He heals my spiritual health and will heal all else in His will and in His timing.

No matter where I am on the rope, the healing touch or the wounding touch, I learn to bring praise and honor to my God.

LORD, I am humbled no matter where I am on the rope. I am humbled because You are You and You love me. I ask for Your help that I would let go, living for You in all ways. I want to be healed physically, desiring to be strong spiritually even more so. I want to walk in Your will and desire You always by my side, Father. I know You will hold me upright as You fill me with the fruit of Your righteousness through Your Son’s death on the Cross. I love You more than all, Abba Father. Amen.

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Photo “Hanging On” – http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=107753&picture=hanging-on

Photo “Twisted Rope Up Close” – http://www.photos-public-domain.com/2012/03/18/twisted-rope-close-up/

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.

— Author Unknown

Can’t you feel this droplet of water so ready to drop from the tiny blade of grass? It’s weight is making it heavier and heavier so that soon it can fall to the ground and water that which is below. Letting go is a difficult part of life as we tend to hang on, for releasing that which we know is harder than walking into that which we know nothing about. Life changes happen for all of us. It is the way we handle them that makes the difference.

Born to a Navy doctor and his wife in 1947, I learned to be uprooted, moving to a new place (Daddy’s next duty station). Sometimes, he went away (deployed as we know today), leaving us behind. One time, he had to go a way, and we (my mother and two younger sisters) moved to Chicago to live with my grandparents for about a year. So letting go of friends, neighbors, school, a place, and a home were just a part of life. I loved to move, to change. I did not leave well though for I did not let go of all that I left behind, not just the people, but the child-world I lived in…on bases, in neighborhoods, being around other Navy children and families. I missed people more than anything. I still, to this day, write to a girl I met in the first grade. It may be just Christmas cards now, but it began with many handwritten letters and postcards. There were several times when she and I lived near again and we spent a week in the summer together; another time as adults, we met for lunch. She is just one of the many I have kept in touch with over the years.

I did not let go as we are called to do.

O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; Nor do I involve myself in great matters, Or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me. O Israel, hope in the LORD from this time forth and forever. Psalm 131:1-3

But I was just a child and knew none of this then!

My dear father died when I was 12. I truly did not let go. He was so special to me and I was just at that age to need my Daddy more than I could have imagined. He was gone forever, yet not out of my mind and especially not out of my heart.

I did not let him go well either.

Do not forsake me, O LORD! O my God, be not far from me! Psalm 38:21

Oh! How I needed those words! But I did not have them in my heart then.

I was married out of college to a man that was not good for me. Ten years later, we divorced. I left as much as I could behind, but my heart and my inside-self were flat as a pancake, run over by a Mack truck … hurt, angry, sad, feeling as a failure with no self-esteem.

I let go as best I could because I was so ready, yet I was crushed and needed a lot of care. I carried much baggage with me.

“It is the LORD Who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8

These words minister to me now. Only if I had known them then!

I began searching for a gap-filling something. I thought it might be “church” and met a great singles group that did care about and for me. They were special in my life. I had a few other special women who tenderly loved me back to a better place, yet I moved away, leaving those friends behind. I also left the “church” behind. Thinking about that particular church, it now seems so shallow to me. I attended other “churches” that gave me the warm fuzzies that I thought I needed, but they were what I now know to be new age churches. I tried to let them go, working at leaving their messages behind.

We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him. Romans 6:6-8

I did not know!

One day, I met Jesus. He filled me with the Truth. He covered me with His Love. He came in and sat with me. He told me what I needed to hear, made me feel loved and wanted. He came alongside me to teach and guide me. The words that are in the past tense above in this paragraph are always in the present tense now. He does not leave me. He is with me in the hard moments, illnesses, trials. He also does not leave me in the beautiful moments, the flowers blooming, new Spring growth on the trees, the butterflies and ladybugs fluttering by, the gift of Kenneth as my husband who loves me dearly.

When He was at the table with them, He took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened, and they recognized Him. And He vanished from their sight. They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while He talked to us on the road, while He opened to us the Scriptures?” Luke 24:30-32

The Light shone before me and I finally saw! All that I ever needed was and is Jesus. Just Jesus.

Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:21-24

Yes, I know now. I am His. And I am learning to let go of past hurts and worries, future concerns, and current struggles. I walk with the One Who has all of the answers. I sit at His feet learning the Truth. I bow before Him and worship my King. And I kneel before the cross with my life in my hands to lay at His feet. I don’t need to say, “If only I had known….” I have Jesus and He has me and that’s all that matters.

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8

LORD, I thank You for bringing me through so many changes in my life. Thank You for loving me as I took so many wrong turns, for helping me carry heavy loads. You have guided me into the Truth. You teach me more and more each and every day. Hold me near for I desire to always walk out the plans You have for my life. Shelter me when I am in the storms of life, and comfort me as I learn to let go of that which needs to go. I love You, LORD, and praise Your Holy Name. Amen.

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Photo: http://funpulp.com/morning-dew-photography/

Graphic: http://www.heallovenow.com/2011/05/letting-go.html

Being Woven

Oh…to Let Go

Letting Go

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